On the other hand, it’s as natural as eating fish fingers with custard.
After all, hearsay suggests time is his playground, his giant sandbox. It tries to contain him, but like a slippery fish, he always manages to wiggle out—thanks to his trusty blue police box.
I’m thrilled to welcome the one and only (or is it twelve and only?), space-traveling, time-wrangling, Time Lord of Gallifrey.
Pop Culture Q&A with The Doctor
Me: I’ve been looking forward to this interview.
The Doctor: “Looking forward”…brilliant time joke. Could use some refinement, but you’re on the right track.
Me: I didn’t intend it as a joke. But if you want to take it that way—
The Doctor: I believe I do. Accept the compliment. They tend to be rare things while around me. Like Roman centurions in the 24th century.
Me: In that case, compliment accepted. Thank you for agreeing to do this. I’m eager to hear your answers to my questions.
The Doctor: Glad I could come. It was a last century decision, and a bit touch and go for few years, but I managed and here I am. In the flesh.
Me: Let’s get started with a question about music, because music happens to be one of my favorite things ever. Favorite three bands?
The Doctor: AC/DC, Imagine Dragons, and OneRepublic.
Me: Neat. I love some of OneRepublic’s stuff. Continuing with this, who’s your favorite singer?
The Doctor: Ed Sheeran. His voice is fantastic.
Me: Agreed. Let’s shift gears a bit and move into the film industry. What are your favorite three movies and why?
The Doctor: Oh, a hard question. I love hard questions. *crack knuckles* Let’s see now. Favorite three…Obviously Interstellar because of space travel and black holes and timey wimey things. For the other two, I’ll go with Magnificent Seven (the original). I love a good western. And Elf. Elf is amazing.
The Doctor: I’m a man—excuse me, Time Lord—of many facets.
Me: Don’t I know it. Who’s your favorite actor or actress?
The Doctor: Chris Pratt. I’m a Time Lord, he’s a Star Lord. We get along swimmingly.
Me: Haha, I bet. He’s a cool guy. Now here’s a question. Who’s your least favorite actor or actress?
The Doctor: Michelle Gomez. Something about her that rubs me the wrong way.
Me: Fair enough. I wonder why…? Anyway, now for a fun question. Say you got stranded on a planet without your TARDIS. Which superhero would you choose to come rescue you?
The Doctor: Superman, no questions asked. He and I relate on many things, and he’s virtually indestructible. Always a good thing when a dangerous rescue is involved. And I dig his cape. Dig…Do people say that in this century?
Me: Yeah, it’s around. And good choice with Superman. While we’re on characters, you can pick any character from a story to be your next companion. Who and why?
The Doctor: Yes! This is one I can answer in my sleep. Or standing on my head reciting the periodic table of elements. I would choose Vin from Mistborn. She’s strong, independent, adventurous. And dash it all, she knows her way around a fight. Never a bad thing when roaming through time and space.
Me: I like it. I think you two would make quite the fascinating, comical pair. Now, I know you’ve been pretty much everywhere in time and space. But what’s one fictional location—realm, city, country—you want to visit?
The Doctor (face lighting up): Hobbiton. I’ve always wanted to meet hobbits and wander in the peaceful fields and drink their beer and eat their scrumptious food. It would be a grand time.
Me: That sounds wonderful. Can I come with?
The Doctor: With a little finagling I think I can manage it. Let’s start planning, shall we?
Me: After we finish the interview, I’m totally down for that. We’re starting to wrap up anyways. Which two fictional characters would you most like to see in a relationship? They don’t even have to be from the same story.
The Doctor (rubbing his hands together): Ooohhh, this will be fun. I love playing matchmaker. Quite good at it, too, or so I’m told. Anyway, characters in a relationship. Hmmm. Mary Poppins and Pippin.
Me: Wow. That’s…quite the combination. Care to explain your reasoning?
The Doctor: I think their personalities balance each other out. She can be strict and stern. A by-the-book sort of person. And he’s more carefree and let’s-go-do-crazy-things. Yet they both have an adventurous streak.
Me: Makes sense, actually.
The Doctor: Plus their ship name is adorable: Mary Pippins.
Me (laughing): That’s brilliant. But why should that surprise me? You’re the Doctor.
The Doctor: Who? *winks*
Me: Har har. Well played. Okay, last couple questions. Would you rather be in the concert of your favorite band or have a role in your favorite movie?
The Doctor: Favorite movie. Interstellar really could use a TARDIS. And my screwdriver. And my magnificent brain.
Me: Good choice, then. And last but not least, what’s your favorite book?
The Doctor: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Not even a question. Though I could easily write a book like that and do a much better job: The Doctor’s Guide to Time and Space.
Me: I’d buy that book in a heartbeat.
The Doctor: I’d buy it in two. *winks*
Me (laughing): And what that fine joke, we’re done. Thank you for coming, Doctor. This was a blast. Let’s start planning that trip to Hobbiton?
The Doctor: Allons’y!
What question would you ask The Doctor? I’d love to hear your thoughts here or on social media.