Best Spam Comments (Because yes, that’s a thing)

‘Tis the season for giving.

And what, you ask, is better than presents a spam comment? Nothing, at least if said spam decidedly does not originate from a steel cylinder.

spam-memeOne of the unexpected amusements of blogging is running across spam comments that make you shake your head or feel the need to engage in laughter therapy. Spammers are one of the most encouraging batch of humans (bots?) I’ve encountered. I had no idea they could display such a positive outlook.

We’re in the midst of the holiday season. Time to celebrate the hilarity spam adds to life.

Best Spam Comments + Responses

Spammer: This looks amazing Erin! Please make this for me when I come stay in your guest room!

Me: My name’s not Erin, and I don’t have a guest room. And even if I did, I wouldn’t be letting some random person come stay there. 😮

Spammer: I carry on listening to the rumor talk about getting boundless online grant applications so I have been looking around for the finest site to get one. Could you tell me please, where could i acquire some?

Me: Sorry, I really can’t.

Spammer: A Gem of a Site.

Me: How about this? You let everyone else know about this reality, kay?

via GIPHY

Spammer: Hi There! We are searching for experienced people that might be interested in from working their home on a full-time basis. If you want to earn $200 a day, and you don’t mind developing some short opinions up, this is the perfect opportunity for you!

Me: Dang. I knew I was doing something wrong. Perish the thought I let this opportunity escape by not clicking that totally legit, no-scam-here-because-honesty link you so kindly (conveniently?) provided.

Spammer: Get Free Donuts and Cash with this amazing Simpsons Tapped Out Hack.

Me: Okaaayyyy. Moving on.

Spammer: I’m just commenting to let you know what a cool encounter our girl obtained studying your web site. She noticed such a lot of things, not to mention what it’s like to possess an incredible teaching spirit to make most people easily have an understanding of several extremely tough things. You really surpassed our desires. Thank you for providing those good, trusted, explanatory and as well as cool guidance on that topic to Lizeth.

Me: I’m honored, Mr. Spammer. Thank you for the kind words.

via GIPHY

Spammer: Reading your blog is pure pleasure for me, it deserves to go viral.

Me: Awww, shucks. And yes, I happen to agree. #bias 😛

Spammer: Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is fantastic blog. An excellent read. I’ll certainly be back.

Me: Why yes, mind-reading is one of my abundant skills.

Spammer: Wow cuz this is really good job! Congrats and keep it up.

Me: Thanks, cuz. But…um, cuz? I don’t think you’re my cuz, becuz, well you’re just not.

Spammer: Greetings from California! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to browse your blog on my iphone during lunch break. I love the information you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.

Me: Greetings, earthling. If you’re bored to death, perhaps it’s time to seek new employment? Actually, no, stay there and continue to read my posts as a way to stave off your boredom. I appreciate your loyalty to my blog.

Spammer: I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an shakiness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike.”

Me: MY EYES ARE BLEEDING! STOP THE MADNESS!

via GIPHY

Which spam comment was your favorite? Do you have any funny spam stories or comments to share? I’d love to hear your thoughts here or on social media.

56 thoughts on “Best Spam Comments (Because yes, that’s a thing)

  1. Hahaha, these are all great! 🙂 I find the last one especially hilarious. Not quite sure what point they were trying to get across… XD

    1. Yeah, same. I also get a ton of weird ones that start “Hi, my name is (blank) and I just wanted to drop you a quick note here instead of calling you.” 0_0 I appreciate that, random spammer, for your sake and mine. 😛

    1. A lot of the spam is redundant and annoying, but getting the gems makes it well worth the annoyance.

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