Christmas songs playing on the radio. Snow flurrying against a gray sky (unless you happen to live in an unfortunate place the fluffy stuff avoids). Crackling fires, cups of tea and hot chocolate. The Christmas tree, twinkling with lights and decked out with ornaments.
It’s a glorious season.
Thanks to all the good cheer and merriness, I was finally able to snag a certain caped crusader for an interview. True, his work is never done, but Christmas is his off season. If vigilantes have off seasons…
I’m pleased to have Batman here for an interview.
Pop Culture Q&A with Batman
Me: I’m glad you were finally able to make it.
Batman: My time is limited. Crime never sleeps, and neither do I.
Me: Understood, and I kinda figured, considering how late it is. Let’s jump in, shall we?
Batman: First, can I get a cup of eggnog?
Me (surprised): You drink eggnog?
Batman: Doesn’t everyone? Except Falcone. He’s too much of a Grinch. Anyway, where’s my drink?
Me: I’ll have my personal unicorn bring it straightaway. It might take a minute. He has a hard time finding shops tucked away down a dark street. In the meantime, you ready to start?
Batman: I’m always ready, kid. Hit me.
Me: Which modern pop star’s Christmas album would you listen to in a heartbeat?
Batman: Josh Groban. His voice is made for Christmas. You may be surprised, but I get out of my Bat Cave now and again. Saw Polar Express at Clark Kent’s mansion last year.
Me: I’m not sure which is more surprising, the fact that you actually watched Polar Express, or the fact that Clark invited you over. Anyway, the soundtrack for that movie is amazing. Who’s your favorite composer?
Batman: Hans Zimmer. He’s a musical genius and great guy. We haven’t met, but I feel as if I know him. His songs are always playing in my head.
Me: Can’t argue with that. Zimmer is a favorite of mine, too. Since we’re talking about movies, I’m curious. What’s your favorite Christmas movie?
Batman: It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s a great reminder of the influence on man can have on a city. Without George Bailey, where would Bedford Falls be? In the greedy hands of a corrupt businessman. I respect Bailey for standing up to that, for being the citizen his town deserved.
Me: Of course. Moving on, and staying with the Christmas theme, which actor or actress do you think would fit into the following roles: Santa Clause, the Grinch, Rudolph, and Frosty the Snowman?
Batman: Santa Clause is definitely Kevin James. Fat, jolly, loves sweets. For the Grinch, I’d say Johnny Depp. He has the type of personality to get away with that role. Rudolph…that’s a hard choice. I’ll go with Cate Blanchett. She has a natural glow…like his nose. And for Frosty, I think I have to pick Robert Downey Jr. I just want to picture him with a corn cob pip and a button nose, and two eyes made out of coal.
Me: Hahaha, good choices, especially the last one. Quite the mental picture. Now, imagine this. You’re in a snowball fight, an epic battle to see who will reign supreme. You can pick five team members from movies. Who and why?
Batman: Katniss. She has good aim and a knows how to handle herself in such a situation. Sherlock, without a doubt. His clever, crafty nature would practically assure victory. I’d also choose the Flash because of his speed. Elf, who has crazy snowball skills. My final choice would be Harry Potter. How can you not include a powerful wizard?
Me: Sounds like an unbeatable team. I’d love to watch that snowball fight. I know you have places to be, so I won’t keep you much longer. If you threw a Christmas party and could only invite characters from fantasy or sci-fi books, who would make your guest list?
Batman: I wouldn’t normally host a party, but if you insist. Gandalf, Peeta (I love bread), Shallan Davar, Sam and Frodo, Vin, Galadriel. And probably some random hobbits. They know how to party. *sips eggnog*
Me: Good company. I’m sure you’d have a fantastic time. Earlier I asked what your favorite Christmas movie was. To flip the question, what’s your favorite movie that has come out around Christmas?
Batman: Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
Me: Interesting. Why is that?
Batman: Isn’t that supposed to be everyone’s favorite movie?
Me: Ummm…okay. Any other reasons?
Batman (after downing the last of his eggnog): It’s a cool movie. The rebels stand up against the evil empire. I admire that.
Me: That makes sense. Last question. Santa lets you take his sleigh out for a date. Which famous actress or singer would you take with you?
Batman: Anne Hathaway. She seems like the type of woman I could get along with.
Me: And that’s a wrap. Hahaha, Christmas…presents…wrap. Get it? Okay never mind. Thanks for doing this. Good luck on things back in Gotham, and have a merry Christmas.
Batman: Thanks kid. *vanishes into the night*
Now it’s your turn to answer one of the questions. Which fantasy or sci-fi characters would you invite to your Christmas party? I’d love to hear your thoughts here or on social media.