The Spec-fic Genres Discuss New Year’s Resolutions

The chaotic rush of the holiday season has passed. Life has turned the page into the next chapter, a new year.

The spec-fic genres—fantasy, space opera, superhero, dystopian, and steampunk—are back, this time discussing the year ahead, and their resolutions for it.

New Year’s Resolutions

Fantasy: Well my friends, we have survived another year. And what a year. One to be sung in songs and told in tales for generations to come.

Super: I thought it was epic, bro. Tons of fantastic movies. Lots of scenes showing buff dudes without their shirts. I appreciate it. We gotta rock the abs-and-biceps look for the viewers.

Steampunk: Honestly, do you think of nothing else?

Super: Course I do. Like how Dystopia is quiet and seems distraught.

Steampunk: What’s wrong, dear?

Dystopia: Everything. Life is so hard. Why does everything need to be difficult? Last year was like driving at 50 miles an hour down a highway full of potholes. I’m done. I deserve some crying time.

Space Opera (SO): It’s in the past, and there’s nothing you can do about it but keep your chin up and move on.

Fantasy: Yes, excellent advice. May I suggest we look ahead instead of looking behind? I find such practices well-suited to times such as this.

Super: Dude, did you take the “I wanna speak English in really complicated ways” class in high school? Wait, are you *in* high school?

Fantasy: I did not and I am not.

Dystopia: Guys, can you spare me some peace and quiet? I need to let my emotions out so I can feel better.

SO: I have a better idea.

Super: Ooohhh, smart guy.

SO: With age comes wisdom.

Super: And gray hair. Hey, does anyone else look in the mirror on New Year’s Day to see if they have more gray hair? I would, but I’m perfect and gray hair isn’t in my body’s vocabulary.

SO: My idea is—

Steampunk: Stop this idle chatter, everyone. You’re wasting our time. We’ve gathered to discuss our resolutions for this year, have we not?

Fantasy: Well said. That’s why I’m present.

Super: All right, all right. Sorry my charm is too bright. Dystopia, done with your pity party? Buck up, it’s a new year.

Dystopia (wiping eyes): Fine. I’m not over it, but whatever. Let’s talk about something else.

SO: I think explosions are a necessary ingredient in any New Year’s resolutions.

Steampunk: Heavens no. What sort of resolution is that? “Let’s blow things up because that solves all problems.”

SO: Exactly.

Super: No worries. I’m here to fix any problems those space crazies throw out there. That’s a good resolution, come to think of it. I also need to work on my figure. Tone those abs, bulge those biceps, pop those pecs.

Dystopia: You’re so self-centered it’s disgusting. How about resolving to stop staring in the mirror, Narcissus, and think about other people for a change?

Super: I didn’t get that reference. Who’s this gnarly sissy? Is that even a word?

Dystopia: Shut up. You’re pathetic.

Fantasy: Please, I beg. Can we maintain an air of civility?

SO (whispering): When in doubt, blow something up.

Dystopia: You could also get an education, Super. Read up on some things or listen to an audiobook while you’re busting out reps at the gym.

Super: I like this idea. Goals for this year: improve education and beef up the buffness. Thanks little lady.

Dystopia: I think my goal should be to learn how to tolerate intolerable superheroes.

Steampunk: Amen!

Super: Hey now, somebody’s gotta be the life of the party. And from what I’ve seen, this lot is underwhelmingly gifted in that area.

Fantasy: Moving along.

Super: You like moving along, don’t you? Probably comes from all that questing you do.

SO: By the planet Antar, man, what did you drink for your New Year’s toast?

Super: I’m a superhero, bro. Stuff like that doesn’t affect me. I’m just in a golly jolly good mood. Doesn’t everyone feel this way in January?

Steampunk (in a dry tone): Unlikely. If you’ll stop hogging all the dialogue space, I’d like to declare my resolutions.

Super: Go for it, honey.

Steampunk (after glaring at Super): My main goal is to get my name out in the creative community. I have a lot to offer, but people don’t appreciate my value like they should. I also want to make life an adventure.

Fantasy: Admirable goals, Steampunk. My desires for this year are to sacrifice more for others, maintain determination despite obstacles, and protect those who cannot protect themselves.

Dystopia: Wow. That’s…Good for you, man. I’m jealous. How do you do it?

Fantasy: It’s part of who I am. I can’t take full credit for it.

SO: And humble, too.

Super: Yeah, I could work on that. I have another thing to add. Bust the box office, baby. Totally gonna rock it this year.

Steampunk (with a knowing look to the others): Humility will be a long time coming, I should think.

Dystopia: No one’s perfect. Also, are we almost done?

Fantasy (nodding): I’m content with concluding.

SO: Before we end, I’ll toss in another resolution…to satisfy Miss Prim-and-Proper. *raises eyebrow at Steampunk* My resolution is to protect the galaxy from invaders, rogues, and any other villainy types.

Super: You and me both, buddy. Here’s to a new year, friends.

Which character has the best shot at keeping their resolutions? I’d love to hear your thoughts here or on social media.


Comments

The Spec-fic Genres Discuss New Year’s Resolutions — 14 Comments

  1. Haha, this is great! XD

    I definitely think Steampunk has a decent shot at keeping her resolution. I would really love to see more in the steampunk genre this year. 🙂

    • Thanks, Madeline. 🙂

      I think so, too. I haven’t read much steampunk (or much of anything lately), but it’s definitely a cool genre I’d like to get into more.

    • Ooohhhh, maybe subconsciously. :0 It wasn’t intentional, but it sounds like it would fit.

      Also, STORMLIGHT ARCHIVE IS THE BEST EVER. 😀 😀 😀

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