The problem for bookworms is all the accompanying vulnerability.
Like, do people even realize how potentially traumatizing it can be? For reals?
Here we are, plopped down in a favorite library or nook of the house, comfortable, enjoying the ocean of bookish happiness surrounding us.
Yet on the horizon looms a dark cloud of doom and misery. Because bookish people tend to be fragile when it comes to their favorite pastime (aka ALL THE READING).
What’s a poor bookworm to do when the gale of tragedy and sorrow and terror strikes?
Take it on the chin weep from their eyes, hearts, and souls.
10 Bookish Things that Make Bookworms Weep
(1) AN ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT AND THRILLING STORY. THAT’S A STANDALONE.
Oh the pain.
Characters we fall in love with. A plot that takes our breath away (please send oxygen to 4 Privet Drive). A world that captures our imagination.
Then, POOF! It ends, like an abrupt drop off with a thousand-foot cliff face leaving you stranded, wanting more but staring into a void.
(2) STUPID CHARACTERS WHO DON’T KNOW HOW THE WORLD WORKS.
These are tears of pity. With a dose of exasperation mixed in.
Seriously, characters. Find a brain. For your sake and the sake of bookish humanity.
Character: “Ooohhh, big dark tunnel. Let’s explore it.”
Readers: How about…NOT?
Character: “I must do everything by myself. Without help. Alone. With secrets.”
Readers: Um, ever heard of teamwork and trust, pal?
Character: Let us charge into mortal danger because invincibility and the plot needs me and the author loves me too much to let me die.
Readers: FOOL OF A TOOK!
(3) WHEN THE NEXT BOOK IN THE SERIES HASN’T BEEN PUBLISHED YET.
Good grief, what’s wrong with the world? We’re allowed to fall in love with a story and then told we can’t have more? That’s like giving a child a teaspoon of sugar and then saying, “Now Johnny, that was the last taste you’ll have until next Christmas.”
Our minds are abuzz with possibility and excitement, and we’re begging to continue. Heck, we’d even pay all the important bookish people lots of money and hugs to continue.
Because rules (probably written in invisible but soul-binding ink by a group of silver-haired elves many centuries ago).
(4) ALL THE DISTRACTIONS.
You know the drill. Sit down to read a book, and BOOM!
- Suddenly the television is blaring.
- The house is burning down.
- Your sibling is dying of hunger even though Elevenses was two seconds ago.
- All the relational drama in the world is dumped onto your plate to fix.
- A horde of orcs has attacked the country and it’s time to get out your sword.
(5) WHEN A BOOK IS THE WRONG LENGTH.
A double-edged problem. Kinda like a double-edged sword, but infinitely more painful.
Either A) the book rivets you and you would read it for a week straight, forgetting all else in existence (see above). You never want it to end, so when it comes, it’s too soon.
Or B) It’s like the lyrics from Dynamite…“Cuz it goes on and on and on, and it goes on and on and on.”
Have mercy on a poor bookworm’s eyes (and soul) and let the story END. Endings are good. Endings are part of life. We don’t need three hundred pages of nothing happening because a book needs to look big and plump like a hobbit in order to impress us.
*cough* Eragon series *cough*
Another double-edged problem.
Some endings cause your brain to explode and your heart to melt. It’s shocking and beautiful and moving and thrilling and terrifying and SO PERFECT that your soul sings. And the entire universe seems completely right for a moment, because how could any story hereafter possibly get better and offer deeper satisfaction?
It’s like an ocean of bookish satisfaction and you’re swimming around with glee.
- All the horrors.
- Nothing goes right.
- Nothing makes sense.
- The entire thing is backwards.
- It’s like eating a rotten piece of broccoli.
A beautiful bane for any bookworm. Secretly, in the depths of our souls, we crave the anxiety, the quickening pulse as a story thread slams to a halt, leaving us gasping in wonder and dying to know what’s around the next bend.
But we have to wait to find out.
And it’s glorious.
And also nerve-wracking and fear-enducing.
**also known to cause stress-eating and hives**
(8) LAME LOVE TRIANGLES.
It kinda worked a few times. Sorta.
Death to the trope!
Like really? Make up your minds, characters. For Peeta’s sake, pick somebody and stop wiffly-waffling. It’s giving us a headache and an earache and an extreme case of infuriation.
And no, we don’t want to read about a love triangle just because it was in Hunger Games and they sold millions of copies. Love triangle DOES NOT automatically = fame and wealth OR happy readers.
(9) WHEN BOOKS ARE MISTREATED.
Tremble with immense fear, any who dare undertake such cruelty.
Books are to be valued, treasured, given a special slot on the bookshelf.
Exception to the rule: If a book is particularly horrid (see 5, 6, and 8), permission is granted to hurl it across the room.
(10) WHEN A CHARACTER YOU LOVE DIES.
Let the Niagara Falls of weeping commence.
Is there anything more poignant, more heart-wrenching? Yet in the same breath, it feels so right. Not because it’s good, but because it sends the story diving to a depth and beauty you didn’t realize it could reach.
The story becomes branded in your mind and written on your soul.
And is there anything better?
Answer = no.
~~~ LET’S TALK ~~~
⇒ Have you experienced any of these?
⇒ What other things make bookworms weep?