Throwback Thursday: The Hobbit Diet

Sometimes life refuses to slow down.

It’s quite inconvenient and inconsiderate that way.

via GIPHY

Thank goodness for the trusty Throwback Thursday tradition. Because right now the armies of Sauron and the White Witch and Voldemort and the entire Klingon empire have amassed against me.

Actually, more like finishing college and staying on top of life, but ya know. Same difference. 😉

So today, here’s a look back at a post from a couple years ago. Because hobbits. And food.

**originally titled The Hobbit Eating Program**

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Have you ever wanted to eat like a Hobbit? Elevenses, second breakfast, teatime, and all that?

Pippin and Merry Eating at IsengardThen you’re in luck. It so happens that due to an unexpected circumstance, I had the privilege of an old and rare book coming into my possession. It is, in fact, a primary source of hobbit eating habits from the Shire.

In today’s world of diets and weight loss programs, I thought this would be a welcome alternative to balance the scales and provide a different approach. Not everyone wants to waste away eating miniscule amounts of food every day.

With that in mind, here’s an anti-diet program, brought to you by the faithful—and rotund—citizens of the Shire.

The Hobbit Diet

A daily guide for hobbits everywhere, proven to maintain a pleasing, well-rounded appearance like that of Fatty Bolger and satisfy even the most demanding appetites. (This program is also useful for Big People who wish to indulge in the proper and suitable pastime of extended food consumption.)

A first word: This daily schedule had been made possible by the Ban Hungry Hobbits Initiative and the Organization for Proper Shire Mealtimes. Thank you and thank you.

Attention, hobbits and all other decent folk who wish to participate. What follows is the most reliable eating program found anywhere from the Shire to Bree, and guaranteed to bring about the desired results.

This guide goes through a day and lays out a pattern of useful eating habits, which you can then apply to your daily routine.

MORNING

Breakfast: Large portions are encouraged as they will fill up the holes that have accumulated while you slept and provide a boost of energy to start the day.

Second Breakfast: This falls roughly in the mid-morning, placed strategically at the time when breakfast satisfaction has begun to give way to hunger pains. Though lighter than breakfast, it’s still an integral part of a healthy hobbit diet.

via GIPHY

Elevenses: More of a brunch than anything, Elevenses is the perfect bridge between Second Breakfast and Luncheon, and a delightful way to round up the morning hours.

AFTERNOON

Luncheon: Meant to be smaller in portion size than Breakfast or Dinner, Luncheon is still a robust meal that shores up declining energy gives you the means to face the afternoon with gusto. If possible, Luncheon is best enjoyed outdoors.

Afternoon Tea: A light affair, this addition to the schedule is necessary for maintaining strength through the last hours of the workday.

EVENING

Dinner: To round off the day, treat yourself to a generous dinner, whether with guests or alone. Remember that this meal must last until breakfast the following morning, so do yourself—and your stomach—a favor and eat at least three generous helpings (more if there are mushrooms).

As always, these regularly scheduled eating times can be supplemented with snacks on an as-needed basis.

A last word: It’s our sincere hope that this guide will be of use to you every day as you partake in the joyous activity of eating.

Thank you for reading, and don’t forget—a full stomach makes for a happy hobbit.

~~~ LET’S TALK ~~~

⇒ Have you ever tried eating like a hobbit?

⇒ Do you think you could eat as much as hobbits do?


Comments

Throwback Thursday: The Hobbit Diet — 6 Comments

  1. Good luck battling the combined forces of Middle Earth, Narnia, Voldemort, and the Klingon Empire! I’m sure if you buy the Klingons a round of Bloodwine (or, y’know, Prune Juice, depending on who you are dealing with), they’ll leave you be.
    As for eating like a Hobbit… That sounds like heaven. Sign me up!

    • Thank you! I shall survive! 😛 Oohhh, I appreciate the advice. I’ll be sure to remember. 😉

      Doesn’t it, though? Hobbits have the inside track when it comes to culinary pursuits. Though dwarves aren’t shabby, either.

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