Sometimes it’s fun to ask, “What if?”
More accurately, it’s *always* fun. Because possibilities, imagination, freedom. A glittering galaxy of stars each representing an idea that could turn into whatever you wish.
And epic things like Lord of the Rings as a YA dystopian novel.
You’re welcome. 😉
Lord of the Rings, YA Dystopian Style
In a land weighed down by oppression, though hidden beneath a veneer of civility and peace, there lived a hobbit.
A young, spunky hobbit whose name was Frobag.
Insignificant until one day destiny came calling in the form of The Grey One, a grouchy friend with a fondness of pipes.
From him, Frobag learned the truth. An uprising was beginning to stir, and Frobag had been chosen to lead.
Because reasons. And apparently he was special due to owning a ring gifted him by his mysterious uncle. And his naturally rebellious personality.
For years the realms had been under the oppressive shadow of the government run by Master Sauro. With his pawns Lord Den, who ruled from the Pale City, and Scarro, Lord of the Second Tower, Sauro held the races in an iron fist. His armies infested the world like biting flies, mindlessly doing their master’s bidding.
After a fit, Frobag agreed to help, and banded together with his friends to form the revolution.
The Grey One was the real leader, despite the fact Frobag held the auspicious position of face-of-the-revolt. His closest friend, another hobbit named Mr. Wise, was in charge of rations and developing ways to undercut the enemy’s food supply.
Then there was Argor, a dashing man whose ruggedness and swordplay (guns were outlawed by Sauro) had landed him smack in the middle of a love triangle. Two beautiful women, one dark-haired and one blonde, competed for his attention and affection.
The two rogues on the team, the hobbits Addoc and Pip, caused quite the commotion when, without authorization, they blew up a small enemy battalion on the River Anduin. Not only did that bring down The Grey One’s frustration, it turned Sauro’s eye upon the rebellion.
From that point on, the war began in full force.
Months dragged by as the rebels fought to gain ground. The gracious Elond of Valleyrift let them set up headquarters in his protected city. Gradually, more and more recruits joined the cause. With Frobag to inspire them (rumors abounded that the ring gave him special abilities), the nations began to rise up.
Lots of things happened.
The battles became bigger, the fighting more intense. The rebellion wore on Frobag, who simply wished it would end. Wished the fighting, the killing, the wrongness of the entire world would just end and bring about peace.
In a tragic turn of events, Pip discovered that Argor’s blonde lover was actually a spy planted by Lord Den. Instead of killing her, they locked her away for interrogation. Though it solved Argor’s dilemma, it left his heart broken.
Meanwhile, many nameless people (and hobbits and elves and dwarves) died in battle.
Sauro’s anger simmered like a boiling pot, and word reached the rebels that he was preparing to wipe them off the face of the earth. Finally, their chance to face Sauro directly had come.
Amid the pain, the grinding effort, the mounting destruction, the group made one final plan. A plan to defeat Sauro.
Frobag led the rebel units to the front lines at the Pale City.
Meanwhile, more people (and…you get the idea) died.
At last the day came. Accompanied by thousands of new troops, Sauro arrived at the Pale City. A long battle ensued, during which Pip and Mere Barrow died with honor. The Grey One suffered wounds, but not before springing a trap that killed hundreds of enemy soldiers.
Even more nameless people (etc.) died.
In another part of the city, Argor and his dark-haired lover faced down and killed Scarro and Lord Den, and then kissed for a long time.
And with Mr. Wise at his side, Frobag confronted Sauro. A battle of wits and the mind. Sauro injured Mr. Wise and Frobag multiple times, but Frobag lured him with the ring. Sauro took the bait, his confidence blinding him to the danger.
The ring exploded, killing Sauro and leaving Frobag worn, bleeding, but victorious.
The rebellion succeeded, but everyone had suffered great loss.
Afterward, Frobag decided to return home with his hobbit friends, tired of the entire rebellion and leaving The Grey One in charge of rebuilding the new world.
Despite the fact they won, no one lived happily ever after.
⇒ Would you like to see more of these mashups in the future?