Modern characters are spoiled.
All the amenities, the privileges, the comfy life provided by residing in a modern world surrounded by modern stuff.
Makes you wonder, how would they survive if plucked out of a modern cocoon and plopped down in a fantasy world?
If they had to go on a quest?
Like, in a not modern setting.
*evil chuckle, rubbing of hands, and many “mwahahaha’s”*
They shall remain nameless because in truth, I don’t really know who they are. Just a general blob of typical modern characters. Shhhh, don’t tell anyone.
Anyway. It’s time to put this nameless lot to the test. Most interesting would be how they handle the stress of a fantasy quest. Behold, real life snippets of conversation overhead from modern characters on a fantasy quest.
**Though not really real life. Cuz imaginary.**
Modern Characters on a Quest
“Lila, you forgot your backpack? You know you needed that. We’re going into the *wilderness* not on a shopping trip to the mall.”
“Follow the Yellow Brick Road!”
“Stop it! You’ve been saying that for the last two miles. There. Is. No. Yellow. Brick. Road. This isn’t Wizard of Oz. And we’re not going to Kansas.”
“I forgot my pocket handkerchief, just like Bilbo!”
“You don’t have a pocket handkerchief…”
“Yeah, because I forgot it.”
“My iPhone’s battery is at five percent. Where’s the nearest outlet?”
“Wait…you mean we have to sleep on the ground?!” *voice rising*
“Man, every step I take, I become more and more thankful for Henry Ford. How do those fantasy people do it day after day? It’s been a mile and I already feel ready to die.”
“Siri, where’s the nearest Starbucks?”
“But I’m gonna die without my coffee.”
“It is customary on a trek by foot to make your own coffee, using the equipment and ingredients you remembered to pack.”
*in shrill voice* “I don’t want my backpack to be my house! What about my nail polish and extra shoes and changes of clothes and perfume and laptop and iPad?”
“I’ve had one question on my mind the past eight days: how did hobbits survive without Dr. Scholl’s?”
“Can we eat now?”
“It’s not noon yet. That’s when sensible people always eat on quests.”
“C’mon, I’m dying of hunger.”
“Danny, have you looked around? There are no stores out here. Do you really want to start exhausting your food supply already?”
“Dang it. I never realized how much I take Walmart for granted.”
“Madison, what are you doing with that stick?”
“Carving a walking staff. Like Gandalf had.”
“That was his wizard’s staff. He didn’t use it just for walking.”
“Sweet! Maybe that means mine will do the cool things his does.”
“Oh to be Flash or Superman right now. This walking is killing my legs. And feet. And everything.”
“Dude. We’re on a quest. That means your parents are supposed to be dead. And who’s Jacob, your old wrinkly mentor person?”
“Geez, thanks for the encouragement, Samwise. Go cook some taters now. Oh wait…no food. Man, this sucks.”
“So cool! We’re on a quest. This pic’s going on Instagram. And this one. And this one! #adventuring #likeahobbit #nature #beauty #nofilter.”
“How about #thunderstormincoming? Run for the trees!”
“I hate the outdoors. No walls, no hair product, no beanbag chairs, no Facebook.”
“This is totes going on my Snapchat story!”
⇒ What are some other ways modern characters may react during a fantasy quest?
⇒ How do you think *you* would fare on a quest?