An impending disaster looms in the near future. Everything you know is about to change.

The apocalypse is coming.

Dystopian books show us the world after an earth-altering event, some of which are hinted at, some explained, some left to the shadows of obscurity. But in every case, people survived. Obviously.

Which begs the question: if the apocalypse is coming, how can you survive?

Close your eyes. Take yourself out of your bedroom, your cluttered office space, the coffee shop you’re at while you read this on your phone. Let those surroundings melt away and imagine with me for a moment.

Geekville is about to be destroyed. Life will never be the same—if you make it through alive, that is. A meteor is hurtling toward earth. Every attempt to redirect its course or blow it to pieces has failed. You can’t escape in the T.A.R.D.I.S.

Doom is inevitable.

Luckily, you’ve had ample warning. Time to prepare, but where to start?

I’m not a survival expert, and admittedly fall on the geeky, idealistic end of the mental spectrum. However, I like to be prepared. With that in mind, I present a geek’s checklist for surviving the apocalypse.

Absolutely Necessary

• Weapons. You know, basic stuff like Legolas’ fighting knives, Anduril, an Iron Man suit, Wolverine claws. Ain’t no way anybody’s gonna mess with an arsenal like that.
• Medicine and first aid supplies, including Lucy’s healing cordial.
• Captain America’s shield. Good for protection in case your Iron Man suit fails.
• Food. I’ve heard lembas is filling and nourishing. Stock up on that and some chocolate and you’ll do all right.
• A sonic screwdriver. It can solve the problems of the universe, so I’m guessing it would come in handy. Plus, it’s never a bad idea to include some tools. *wink*
• An invisibility cloak, to keep you hidden from the nasty predators and people that seem to delight in prowling post-apocalyptic environments.
• Extra clothes and sturdy footwear. In case your Iron Man suit fails.
• Human Torch, member of the Fantastic Four, because starting fires is key to staying warm, cooking food, boiling unclean water, scaring off man-eating beasts.
• If above option isn’t possible, a dragon will suffice but is decidedly more of a logistical headache.
• A flashlight. Uninspiring, but the list needs one ordinary item.
• A copy of Goshawk’s Guide to Herbology, a vital resource to determine the nature of whatever plants happen to survive the destruction.

Optional but Recommended

• Every dystopian book you can get your hands on. 1984, Hunger Games, Divergent, Fahrenheit 451…the whole shebang. What good will books do you? Experience. After all, the main point of this list is surviving, right? Which then means you’ll have to learn how to live in a hostile dystopian world. Which you can read about in said books.
• A laptop and smartphone…because who can survive without their techy gadgets?
• A device for charging electronics, preferably powered by a renewable energy source.
• An injection of super serum. Never a bad thing to have. If it turned scrawny Steve Rogers into a buff model of human physique, it should give you enough muscle to endure the physical hardships awaiting.
• A talking computer a là J.A.R.V.I.S., in case you end up on your own. Being alone with no one to converse with is a recipe for a mental breakdown.
• A Testimony Log and emotigraph, so you can record your experiences.
• A pocket-handkerchief.
• A batmobile. You need a method of travel (in case your Iron Man suit fails), so why not do it in style?
• Susan’s horn. This is in the event you need to summon help and your electronics (including those in your Iron Man suit), are out of commission.
• Bow and arrows, Katniss style, for hunting in stealth or killing silently.

Since You Have Time and Just for the Heck of It

• Your favorite sci-fi and fantasy movies, every season of Doctor Who, Star Trek, the Flash, Gotham, Firefly, and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. These will keep your mind occupied during the disaster.
• Movie soundtrack CDs and other types of enjoyable music. (See above.)
• Earbuds (see previous two items).
• Some Old Toby and a pipe.
• A collection of your favorite non-dystopian novels.
• A notepad containing epic and inspiring quotes from books and movies, which will keep you motivated in the difficulty of the coming days.
• A Superman cape. Because why not?

With the items on this checklist, you’ll be well on your way to surviving the apocalypse and whatever grim world greets you in the aftermath.

How would you survive the apocalypse? Is there anything you’d add to the list? I would love to hear your thoughts.