Everyone needs a résumé, even a geek. How else are you supposed to get a job, show your academic worth, impress people?

Yes, I’m being slightly sarcastic.

My point is, résumés are an integral part of life. Chances are, if you’ve ever had a job, you had to fill out some sort of résumé. Depending on the person, it’s as easy as getting an Ent to talk slowly…or worse than waiting over the summer for your favorite TV show to return with a new season.

Due to the twisted, unnatural…AHEM, I mean highly creative and random way my mind works, I thought to myself, “How would a true-blood geek fill out a résumé?”

So many fun things you could do with this idea. Mwahahahaha *rubs hands in best imitation of a sinister villain*

A Geek’s Résumé

To whom it may concern…

Objective

To display an exception amount of knowledge, awareness, and passion for all things related to fandoms. Furthermore, to present evidence of a well-rounded life as pertains to experiences, education, and entertainment.

Education

• Hogwarts, grades 6-12 (scored perfect grades on every class in every year, except for the ones taught by Professor Snape)
• Starfleet Academy (graduated top of the class with a double major in Geekology and Histories, Criticism, and Enjoyment of Speculative Fiction)
• TV Tropes

Skills and Abilities

• Holding an LoTR marathon…extended editions! (indicates a robust measure of endurance)
• Watching Star Wars: the Force Awakens eight times in the theater without becoming bored (shows an excellent tolerance to potentially tedious situations)
• Walking around barefoot, hobbit-style
• Operating a sonic screwdriver
• Riding a Firebolt broom
• Applying analysis to movies and TV shows to understand the underlying themes and worldviews at work (points to a highly honed level of critical reasoning)
• Reading for three hours straight
• Predicting plot and character-related outcomes for the next Marvel movie
• Cosplaying (reveals a tasteful amount of creativity)
• Speaking Klingon, Elvish, Gallifreyan, and Parseltongue (displays a well-rounded appreciation for cultural diversity and racial awareness)
• Wearing bow-ties
• Researching the latest news about Marvel’s multiverse
• Buying geeky gifts—mugs, T-shirts, posters—for friends
• Commenting on fandom forums (exhibits solid writing skills)
• Explaining important details about various fandoms to non-geek friends (demonstrates the ability to communicate clearly and effectively)
• Making Turkish Delight
• Giving novice geeks recommendations on which fandoms they should start on
• Eating seven full meals a day

Experience

• Reading books by authors such as, but not limited to…Suzanne Collins, Brandon Sanderson, C.S. Lewis, Jill Williamson, Rick Riordan, J.R.R. Tolkien, Patrick Rothfuss, George Orwell, Orson Scott Card, Nadine Brandes (you get the idea)
• Watching movies—Marvel, DC, Middle-earth, fantasy, dystopian, space opera, STAR WARS
• Watching TV shows—Star Trek, Firefly, Doctor Who, the Flash, Gotham, Once Upon a Time, Green Arrow, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Merlin…TO INFINITY AND BEYOND
• Attending numerous comic cons
• Visiting the Harry Potter Theme Park at Disneyworld

References

• Various friends who are fellow geeks
• Mom, who had to endure binge-watching on Saturdays
• Non-geek friends whose ears have probably become pointy due to the excessive raving they’ve endured
• Hagrid

What would your résumé look like? I’d love to hear your thoughts.