Not many people can claim to have out-of-this-world type personalities. But today’s guest post for Pop Culture Q&A certainly has one.

Literally.

He goes by several names, all of which are well known among the general populace. His penchant for combining creativity and engineering is unmatched. As are the size of his ego and bank account.

I’m proud to introduce the one and only…

Pop Culture Q&A with Tony Stark

Me: Mr. Stark, it’s an honor to have you here for Pop Culture Q&A this fine evening.

IM: First off, it’s not Mr. Stark. I am Iron Man. Do we have that straight? Okay. Moving on, I’m glad to be here. Where’s my Nonfat Iced Vanilla Latte?

Me: Um…I wasn’t expecting to serve Starbucks, but let me check on that.

IM: Good. You’re on top of things I see. How do you feel about learning some thermonuclear physics?

Me: I’ll pass, thanks. Do you mind if we start the questions while we wait for your latte?

IM: You planning on sending an invisible unicorn dressed in a waiter’s apron? Because we’re sitting here on this quaint little bench at this pristine lake in a park—how did we end up here anyway?

Me: It’s a nice evening? I wanted a change of scenery for my interview this week?

IM (cocking his head): That’s cool. I’ll roll with that. You ready? Better make them fast-hitting. I don’t have all day. Got a country to save, a company to run, you know the drill.

Me: Right. Getting down to business, let’s start with some recent news. The story came out a few days ago that Taylor and Tom broke up. What’s your opinion on that?

IM: Paparazzi these days. *rolls eyes* What are we going to do with them? People can’t stay together longer than a pizza lasts in a men’s college dorm room. Such a shame. Though I can’t blame Tay. That Hiddleston fellow can be a pain in the rear to deal with.

Me: Yeah, I’ve heard rumors you have some experience with his antics. As far as experience goes, which actress would you most hate being in a relationship with, if you were in a movie together?

IM: Oh, let’s not get started on that. I’ll say one thing and then we’ll move on, because that’s a distasteful subject. That lady—you know the one. Tall, dark hair. Sly smile.

Me: I’m not sure.

IM: That’s fine. Neither am I, and that’s a rarity so enjoy it. Anyway…an absolute nightmare. Where’s my latte?

Me: Coming in a few minutes. Moving along, say you’re stranded on a deserted island and could choose one person—from pop culture, obviously—to be with. Who would you pick?

IM: Myself, obviously.

Me: Aha. Did anyone ever mention that you’re narcissistic?

IM: Did they? I don’t remember. I usually try to block out mentally disturbing incidents.

Me: Who’s your favorite character from Lord of the Rings?

IM: Gandalf. The dude rocks. He’s got that hair, and that pipe, and the hat. And he’s spry for his age. I want to be like him when I grow up. Do you think he takes something to keep his joints loose?

Me: I have no idea, but impressive aspirations nonetheless. Now, I know you’re a big fan of Batman.

IM: Yep. Yep. Gotta love the dude in black.

Me: Imagine you host a dinner party and invite all your favorite characters to attend. Batman is one of them. What do you say to him?

IM: First off, I don’t have to imagine. Second off, thanks for reminding me. To answer your question, I’d ask him how he does it—living a double life. Hiding under cover of night when he could be flashing around in his Lambo. Kicking ass in spandex.

Me: Those are…good questions. *clearing throat* Oh, here’s your latte.

IM: About time. *takes latte and scans the area* No unicorn. How’d you do it?

Me: I have my ways. *mysterious look* Next question: would you rather attend a Justin Timberlake concert, take an entire week off and binge-watch your favorite TV show, or walk the red carpet with Adele?

IM: Actually, none of those. I’d see AC/DC in concert.

Me: Fair enough. I’ll give you a pass on that one, but this next one you have to answer. Who’s the most impressive actor you’ve seen?

IM: Apart from that Downey Jr. guy? Harrison Ford. The man’s a living legend, a never-dying legend. Except when his rogue son went haywire. Still, a guy who can wield a whip and lightsaber with equal talent? No one can beat that.

Me: No argument there. We’re getting into the final few questions.

IM: Good. Because as relaxing as this whole bench-in-a-park-by-a-lake thing is, my time’s not free.

Me: I understand, and I appreciate your willingness to do this. This next one’s fun. Who’s more obnoxious, Justin Bieber or Miley Cyrus?

IM: Beiber. I mean, how can I take the dude seriously when his name sounds like “beaver”? All I can picture is this fat little beaver waddling around on the stage, chomping those huge front teeth at the mic and slapping its tale to the beat.

Me: Hahaha, that’s quite the mental image. Two more questions. First, would you rather visit Hogwarts or Narnia?

IM: A creepy old mansion packed with hundreds of rowdy, unruly kids? Not really my thing. Neither is a magical land where animals can talk. How about Waikiki Beach?

Me: Hmm, not the best answer I’ve heard. *shrugs* Final question, then you can go save Asia or whatever’s on your to-do list tonight.

IM: I’m actually adding a second Stark Tower out in LA. Need to be there to make sure the builder doesn’t screw up the blueprints.

Me: Sounds like a plan—no pun intended. Anyway, the question. Do you like Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman more in the second hobbit movie or the BBC Sherlock series?

IM: Sherlock, hands down. Good latte. Still don’t know how you got it here. I’ll have Friday investigate. Meantime, I need to run—I mean fly.

Me: You go ahead and take care of things. It was great having you.

What question would you ask Iron Man? I’d love to hear your thoughts here or on social media.