Authors aren’t normal.

Therefore, neither are their Internet searches. As in, if-the-secret-service-is-watching-let’s-hope-they-know-we’re-writers.

Okaaay…maybe not THAT bad all the time. But it’s true that authors search for some pretty crazy things on the Internet. #research #obviously #wepromise

Anyway, I was tagged by Jenelle Schmidt and Abbey Stellingwerff to participate in this brilliant challenge, which was cooked up by Madeline over at Short & Snappy.

First off, a disclaimer. I am interesting boring.

Basically, my life has been more crowded than a theater on opening night of the new Star Wars movie. All the things all the time. Because of that, my writing—and therefore the diversity of my Internet searches—has suffered. I haven’t been able to commit a lot of time to it lately.

Also, job hunt has been happening in earnest this summer, leading to the inevitable doom of searches such as…

• Inbound marketing
• Andrew Hudson job list
• Jobs at Google Boulder
• Why is carbonated water bad for you *…wait WUT?!*

via GIPHY

As you can see, not the most scintillating of topics.

Okay, now that we have that out of the way, we can proceed to the challenge with all the gusto of a hobbit rushing to Elevenses.

The rules (possibly more like guidelines?):

• Access your browser history
• Pick at least 5 of your strangest searches you’ve had to look up as a writer
• List them below with an explanation as to why you had to look them up
• Tag 2-5 other bloggers

Given my lack of writerly searches of late, I’m going to be creative here. I’ve had *some* searches that are related to being a writer. Sort of. Maybe just not directly for book research. I also distinctly remember a couple things I Googled years and years ago—before the Age of Men had come—back when I was writing all the time. I’ll include both types of searches and presto!

So…ahem. Evidence that reveals what it’s like behind the scenes of being an author.

Strangest Browser Searches

Viggo Mortenson

I honestly don’t remember the reason for this, but he’s Aragorn, from Lord of the Rings, which is a book, and I’m a writer. Totally makes sense.

via GIPHY

Opening line for Mistborn the Final Empire

This one actually works! I was looking for opening lines for a recent blog post. Plus Mistborn, so why not? 😉

Wonder Woman wiki

How ‘bout them alliterations? Again, needed something—pretty sure it was pictures—for a blog post. And with precisely 1.284 million wikis, it was just easier to Google it instead of guessing the exact URL to type in.

Twitter handle

I figured I needed to venture into the terrifying world of birds and Tweets, because isn’t that what the cool authors do?

Considering the fact I had to look up “Twitter handle,” for reasons that my brain has conveniently categorized as unimportant and not worth remembering, maybe I should have kept my distance? 😮

Mythological creatures

I was gathering ideas for a story I wrote for Havok Magazine. The theme for that issue was “mythological clashes,” so pretty self-explanatory. Said story also happens to be my first published work! HURRAH!!!!

Ehm, moving on…

Why is C3PO’s leg silver

For this one, I have to thank a conversation with some friends about Star Wars. The topic of C3PO’s leg and its color came up. What this has to do with writing, I have no idea. There’s a connection somewhere, I promise.

Types of amnesia

This one’s from waaaaaay back in the day. As in, if you’re part of Gen Z, you probably weren’t even alive yet. JK.

via GIPHY

I remember this one (irony?) was because I was being a good little author and putting my main character through an extremely difficult time in life. Namely, he fell a long way and knocked his head, resulting in amnesia. I wanted to make sure I was giving him the right type for the injury and the amount of memory loss I wanted to inflict.

Mwahahahahaha

Doctor Who potato head character

. . .

. . .

. . .

Yeah. So. I couldn’t remember his name or his race. Is that so terrible?

Moving right along, I wanted to reference STRAX in a blog post. And thus was born this beauty of a search phrase. You’re welcome. 😛

♦♦♦

*taps fingers while flashing mischievous grin and reveling in ALL THE POWER*

Who shall I tag to reveal the deepest secrets of their author Internet explorations? Hmmm…the fate shall fall upon:

Leslie Conzatti

Cait @Paper Fury

Nadine Brandes

Victoria Grace Howell

~~~ LET’S TALK ~~~

⇒ What are some of the strangest things that have shown up in your browser searches?