Confession time.

Books have to make sacrifices.

The perfect book doesn’t exist. Authors sit in their ivory towers (they’re spacious, well-heated towers, not little closets with a single lamp and a small vent for air and trays of food, kay?) hammering out their masterpieces on their dilapidated keyboards.

via GIPHY

And guess what?

We get it wrong.

*sits and waits for five minutes for the world to recover*

Yep, books aren’t these perfectly crafted beauties with all the right characters, all the right action, all the right emotions and feels and twisty-turny developments. They’re more like huge mounds of sand. In a hailstorm. #chaos

The result?

Many poor scenes that must be cut in order to lessen the chaos and cheer the story up so he can become a big boy and make his way successfully into the wide world.

Alas, what happens to those scenes that feel the pain of the backspace key?

They form a club, of course.

The Deleted Book Scene Club

Note: Yes, we admit the club’s title is horrifyingly uninteresting and more boring than fifty pages of financial gobbledygook. But we’re hurting, all right? We haven’t the mental or emotional or creative energy to think of anything better. #dontjudge

via GIPHY

Battle Scene: Heads up, gang. Looks like we have another outcast headed our way.

10-Sentence Scene: Hey there, what’s up? Welcome to the club.

New Scene: Hi. Thanks guys.

Romance Scene 2A: Oh honey, you sound so depressed. Tell us the story.

New Scene (sighing): I thought I was gonna make it. So close. So close.

Scene 51: Slow down, my good fellow! I understand the pain seems unbearable. But look around. We have each other. You’re not alone, my fine man. We don’t need those fancy-schmancy scenes to make our lives meaningful.

New Scene: You…you think so?

Scene 51: I know so. I joined this club nearly a decade ago, and do you know what?

Battle Scene (muttering): Here we go again.

Scene 51: I’ve met hundreds, thousands of scenes. And not one of them is unimportant.

New Scene: That’s encouraging.

10-Sentence Scene: It is! That’s the spirit! You’re catching on!

Scene 51: And even better, our lives are much more enjoyable. No pressure, no fear, no worry about 6.3 thousand sets of eyes scrutinizing every piece of us.

Battle Scene: No critics or complainers, either.

Romance Scene 2A: We have free candy for you too, sweetie. We’ll take good care of you here.

New Scene: You’re all amazing. I thought the world was ending earlier when I found out the author was getting rid of me.

Scene 51: Time to start a new life.

Battle Scene (winking): So tell us, kid. What’re you in for?

New Scene: I was “too slow, disorganized, and irrelevant.”

Romance Scene 2A: Awwww honey. That’s rough. I’m so sorry.

New Scene: I thought a few edits would change that, but I guess I was too far gone to be salvaged. Though my author did remove my opening line to keep.

10-Sentence Scene: Well done! You’re better off than a lot of us here. Heck, look at my name. I barely got started before my author decided to scrap me. That hurt.

New Scene: I’m sorry. That sounds miserable.

10-Sentence Scene: No worries. It’s all good. I’d rather be here anyway. We have unlimited coffee, happy hour every Friday afternoon, an Xbox, lawn chairs, and best of all? NO BACKSPACE KEY!

New Scene (laughing): That sounds grand. I’m curious though. Why are the rest of you here?

Battle Scene: I fell flat on my face, kid. It was horrific. Nothing made sense, I didn’t have as much action or tension as I should have, and worst of all, my author thought I was way too long. I got chopped up and delivered here in pieces.

via GIPHY

New Scene: Wow. That’s awful.

Battle Scene: Thankfully he sent all of me eventually.

New Scene: Glad to hear it. What about you, Romance?

Romance Scene 2A: Too much fluff, sweetie. Too much melodrama. Too much kissing and touching. And waaaaay too many emotions. I was a sobbing, frazzled mess.

Scene 51: Don’t forget about the—

Romance Scene 2A: Yes, I’m getting there. My author also switched the characters on me and changed the romantic interest. Such a cruel thing to do, but she did and after that, I wasn’t needed. So here I am.

New Scene: Gee, that’s no fun. Have you guys noticed that authors aren’t very nice sometimes?

Battle Scene (nodding): Ruthless, I’d say. Takes a lot of guts to be us.

Scene 51: I may slightly beg to differ.

New Scene: Oh?

Scene 51: My story of woe is different than what you’ve heard so far, my fellow. I was actually decent. After some edits and rewrites, I was polished and on point. Convinced I would make the final cut.

New Scene: What happened?

Scene 51: An editor, that’s what. A day that will live in infamy. The editor marked me red all over and told my author I had dozens of flaws. It was crushing, especially since my author wanted to keep me. Alas it wasn’t meant to be.

New Scene: That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.

Scene 51: No need to be, my man. I have taken it upon myself to encourage all the new scenes who end up joining our club. It’s an excellent job, and no more need to fear the editor’s unforgiving red pen.

New Scene: I think I’ll like it here.

Romance Scene 2A: I promise you will. Let’s take a tour, shall we?

Battle Scene: Uh-oh. Sounds like we have a new recruit coming in. Wonder what it was this time…

 ~~~ LET’S TALK ~~~

⇒ What are some of your deleted scene stories?