Tomorrow marks my blogiversary. (Isn’t English great? “Anniversary’s cool and all, but it’s not *bloggy* enough, so let’s coin a new word since we have the power and because trendiness.”)

Two years.

Thank you my dear readers who volunteered to hop aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise (my blog has a name, WUT?!) with me and boldly go where no one has gone before. Exploring far-flung galaxies, seeing exotic wonders, and embarking on grand adventures.

It’s been quite the journey. Reminiscent of Frodo’s quest, really. Good times, hard times, times filled with friends, times alone.

I’ve learned some fascinating, unexpected things along the way. And now a fancy title, because I can.

The Inside Intricacies of Blogging about Science Fiction and Fantasy (Includes Highlights and Other Important Things)

Talk about sci-fi and fantasy. All. The. Time. Seems straightforward, yes? *wonders if talking about blogging about sci-fi and fantasy counts as a post about sci-fi and fantasy…*

Hobbits are the cool kids (halflings?) on the block.

• They exhibit unique eating habits.
• Their loyalty is second to none—looking at you, Sam.
• Perhaps you, yes you, have some hobbitish tendencies (no, I’m not talking about your hairy feet or vertically challenged stature).

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Bookworms are a thing and have tendencies. My shock spans the continents of Middle-earth. Not really, but it sounded epic.

Languages matter. Especially when it comes to the unique terminology of sci-fi and fantasy.

Spammers are so kind. They have a habit. A nice habit. They have taken it upon themselves to comment on a random page or post instead of calling me. Haven’t counted (because math) but I’ve probably had hundreds of comments that begin something like this:

“I decided to leave a message here on your The Dark Side of Fiction | Zachary Totah page instead of calling you.”

Wow, so generous. Also, how’d you get my phone number, random person? Did you know my phone has a superpower? It zaps the brain of anyone who makes a spam call. Consider yourself lucky.

Spammers are also ridiculously annoying encouraging. Case in point: “You ought to be a part of a contest for one of the best websites on the web. I’m going to recommend this website!”

*bows* Why thank you kind…sir? Um, ma’am? Um…person? Um…artificial intelligence? My gratitude is as limitless as your praise.

Here are some of the best spam comments I’ve received.

Since we’re on the subject…SO MUCH SPAM! Again, not counting so no exact numbers, but I’d guess for every one legit comment I get, there are probably four or five spam comments.

Signing up to be an earth-dominating ruler might not be such a bad gig. Kinda like Sauron, but the geeky, friendly, let’s-do-nice-things-instead-of-evil-things version.

When in doubt, use the words Lord of the Rings. It’s a secret code that works magical wonders on the chemical processes in the brain, stimulating an intense desire to read anything associated with that particular string of words.

• Regarding modern names
• Regarding useful quotes
• Regarding favorites

The dwarves and Nazgul have Christmas songs. *lets that sink in*

Peering into the dark side of fiction might bring some surprises.

Brevity = good.

• When reading long, complicated books.
• Or when wanting to enjoy a favorite but your TBR list is screaming and demanding your attention.
• Or when lacking time to immerse in a story so thank you summaries.
• Also, abridged novels.

Books aren’t perfect. Before you cast me out of your presence as a hateful rogue who cares nothing of the value and beauty of books, consider this. The titles could be better.

Pictures are hard, K?

GIFs are lifesavers. (See above.)

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Memes are amazing. (See above above.)

QUOTE GRAPHICS = ALL THE YES!

Why not personify genres and let them talk about things? Over dinner, or regarding the 2016 presidential election, or about New Year’s resolutions. (Quite the talkative bunch, it turns out.)

My readers and I don’t always agree.

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Sometimes, I craft an amazing post (amazing while it’s still safely nestled in my mind before being released into the world) I think will be a hit. Then…massive success FLOP.

Other times, I throw something together last-minute and people adore it. Go figure.

When somebody figures out this writing gig, TELL ME ALL THE SECRETS. (I’ll send chocolate and imaginary cookies.)

What are your favorite types of posts, and what would you enjoy seeing more of? I’d love to hear your thoughts here or on social media.